


Lavender is blue, dilly dilly, lavender is green...

by Elenielwen



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Despair!Cole, Other, Poetic suffering?, Psycopathic behaviour, Warning! Creepy to some!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 18:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4274256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenielwen/pseuds/Elenielwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another dark oneshot of Despair!Cole! </p><p>In the darkness, he is her everything. Her only light. As Ellana Lavellan fades, all she feels, all she hears, is him. </p><p>"Shh, you are safe here. No one can hurt you here"</p><p>This is how I picture him acting if he turns into a despair demon and his "purpose" in life - to help - becomes twisted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lavender is blue, dilly dilly, lavender is green...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hypermuffins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypermuffins/gifts).



> This is for you, Hypermuffins, because you're awesome <3

It is dark.

 

Silent.

 

How long has she been here?

 

**Drip... drop.**

 

She has been here a long time.

 

Ellana tries to move once more, but just like every other time, the lithe elf finds it impossible. Her body is unresponsive, limp, a lump of flesh, nothing but a ragdoll. A wave of hopelessness washes over her as she stubbornly tries to make her body obey. 

 

Kick! Move your hands! Anything!

 

.... It's not working.

 

How long has she lain here?

 

**Drip.. drop.**

 

Her muscles must have atrophied, they feel like heavy pieces of lead. A lump of flesh with nothing attached to it, a useless mass of meat and bones without a purpose.

Perhaps such a horrendous find should frighten her.

Maybe it did once. 

She used to be a person who loved to madly dash down a trail, or race a Halla and then take down her prey with perfect precision. Her body wants that back... the rush that comes with freely climbing up the treetops, to be met with a gush of fresh air, bare feet tickled by the rustling of soft leaves. To feel that the particular high as adrenaline fills her entire being and zones in on that one thing it must always keep within its line of vision.

 

Ellana exhales. Her heart rate is speeding up just from the memory of what she used be.  _Who_ she used to be.

 

She  _used_ to be the inquisitor. Before... all this. 

 

What did Varric call it again?

 

It doesn't work at first. She can't remember... the thoughts are slow. Muddled. Images fleeting as she tries to hold on to them.

 

Then one stays. It is right there - _that's right!_ How could she have forgotten?

 

Varric used to say she should go "frolicking in the woods".

 

She tries to hold on to the memory, the smell of bark as Varric grins when she chuckles at him and the rain that had been soaking them that day.. but the image distorts and slips away, taunting her until even the emotions attached goes numb. 

 

**Drip... drop.**

 

Time passes as she struggles within herself.

 

How long has she lain here? 

 

**Thump. Thump.**

 

She can hear her own heartbeat.

 

**Thump. Thump. thump-thump.**

 

“No, you are not alone. _Never alone._ No no, I am here. Safe, no more hurt, no more bad, they hurt you, but now they can't, I will stop them **hush hush**... I _can't do this, take away the pain, make it stop!_  The horse, it races over the mountain, down it fell, down it went, down down down... **No**! _No more falling, no more blades, no more Him, no more_...  _pain"_

 

The eerie voice edges closer.

 

"Shh, you are safe here, don't worry. They can't hurt you here. I will stop them **, hush**..” 

 

**Thump. Thump thump thump thump-thump.**

 

Ellana doesn't respond, but her heart picks up pace. She knows that voice... and yet, she doesn't. Cole is the only thing that is  _real_  here in this darkness.Despite everything, she wants to reach out, to hold on. He is her _everything_ , her _only_ hope.

 

“Shh. They can't hurt you again. Sleep” he whispers softly, a slight rasp at the end and the second afterwards, Ellana feels a familiar liquid pouring down her throat.

 

She wants to cough, gag, spit out the foul concoction and scream at the top of her lungs. 

 

Her body isn't responding besides a twitch in her hand that causes the soft arms around her tighten their grip. Calloused hands proceeds to softly massage her throat, forcing the liquid down when the throat rejects the lukewarm liquid. 

 

“Shhh, I'll make it go away. _Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, lavender's green. When you are king, dilly dilly,I shall be queen_ ” He starts singing, the voice so soft, ever so soft.

 

A numbing feeling is spreading. She should be alarmed, yet nothing happens. Everything turns hazy, unfocused, slow.

 

Still singing, Cole gently picks her up and cradles her against his lithe yet sinewy chest. She can hear his heartbeats as if from afar - they are as loud, fluttering like a butterfly in the sky.

She is engulfed by all that is Cole, his smell, his essence, his everything. She knows this should be wrong, this should be something she should react to... then her forehead is met by full lips ghosting just by the hairline, long locks of oily hair spilling over pointed ears, before a weight touches her hair. Strong arms holds her as close as possible, rocking them both back and forth. She can't feel the motion. 

 

**Drip.. drop.**

 

Cole is _everything_. He is her  _entire world._

 

He smells wet moss, dirt, damp leather and ... Cole.

 

Familiarity. Was there not something she should be remembering? Another twitch in her hand causes him to soothingly stroke the back of her head.

 

 **Thump thump thump-thump**. 

 

**Drip... drop.**

 

Their hearts are one.

 

 _"Call up your friends, dilly, dilly, set them to work. some to the plough, dilly dilly, some to the fork_ ... _"_

 

A moment of clarity hits and she is in an instant catapulted back to the now.

 

She should be fighting!  This isn't like her, Ellana Lavellan of clan Lavellan, hunter, rogue and... Mahanon's sister. The keeper's first. Inquisitor...

 

She is fighting the haze. Fighting the void. She wants to kick, thrash, stop it from overwhelming her, but... Darkness returns. Oblivion beckoning her ever closer. 

 

His hands in her hair feel far away. Is he still singing? 

 

The song is everything now, her whole world. 

  
**Thump thump thump-thump.**

 

The wave is coming. 

 

He feels it when she gives up, rocking her, cradling her in response and places small, soothing kisses on her forehead.

 

“ _Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so? 'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so_.... 

 

_"L avender's blue, dilly dilly, l avender's green . When you are king, dilly dilly,  I shall be queen...”_

 


End file.
